Meticulous Providence

I hate to write about it. Almost hate to even think about it. But, nevertheless, home is where I am--not Zambia. I was supposed to be arriving in Zambia on the 31st of June and arriving back home on July 17th, but God had other plans in mind. "Never underestimate the meticulous Providence of God," says my pastor. I'm starting to understand that in a new light. As soon as we landed in the busiest and most tumultuous airport in Africa, my ear rang louder than I thought it ever could. I've heard of people's ears ringing and hurting after an airplane ride, but I've never suffered from it.

However, later that night in Johannesburg, I couldn't sleep because of the pain. I later got sick (very sick) and awoke to a bloody pillow. It was at this point that I rounded the other leader up, along with the Ph.D. that accompanied us, and drew out a game plan. I explained, "If anyone of my students were sick like this, and potentially required inner ear surgery, I'd fly them home in a heart beat." With this sickening decision, we all went back to Johannesburg International airport at 8:00am for our flight out. However, my team would be heading to Zambia as planned; I would be heading home. Or at least I thought.

Purchasing a one-way Delta ticket to the United States in an African airport is not as easy as it sounds. There was one-and only one-flight leaving South Africa towards the U.S. each day, and it was at 8:45pm. I had twelve hours--enough time, right? Well, long story short, I ended up having the wrong name on the ticket, ran out of international talk time, and was questioned up and down by a security agent as to why I had a bloody tissue hanging out of my ear--"I...uh...had an accident." I managed to slip by the pompous security agent, only to find myself running to the other end of the airport, narrowly boarding the plane home (after I bought Stacey an African gift--promised her I would).

So, I boarded the 19-hour flight back to the States, leaving the team I poured and prayed over for months, 9,000 miles behind me.

"God's meticulous Providence." It's not always a comforting phrase. In fact, when it's used, it's hardly ever after something satisfying happens. Meticulous Providence characterizes God as ordering and directing everything—every detail in the universe. According to this concept, every event in nature and every human action and decision is carried out according to God's decree and purpose.

There are a number of Biblical quotations which affirm this view. For example, in Ephesians 1:11 we are told that God, "Set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth" (The Message).

I've always said, "God is in control...God is sovereign." But what does that mean? In my life...?

Seems like we prefer to think that when adverse things happen, when people sin or when tragic events occur, God has nothing to do with the planning part of the event. In our view He merely responds like a superhero, miraculously causing all things to work together for good. But does this understanding represent God's providence in accordance with Scripture?

William Hasker, in his book, "Providence, evil, and the openness of God," speaks to meticulous Providence. "...every single instance of evil that occurs is such that God's permitting either that specific evil or other greater evil is necessary for some greater good which is better than anything God could have brought about without permitting the evil in question" (pg. 115).

That this is logically plausible cannot be denied-but does that make sense in accordance with our personal reasoning? Personal experience? Most would say that only the good elements in God's master plan are constructed by God; the evil ones, conversely, are only permitted. But, this doesn't really solve the problem. If the evils which occur are specifically decreed by God in order to achieve the best possible result, this comes as near to making no difference as saying that they are accepted by God as means towards his desired end. And to intend the end is to intend the means.

Is this what we mean when we say, "God brings good out of evil"? This is more...how do I say, lax? God, if He is the meticulous Orchestrator, specifically arranges things so that some good results from the evil in question, but without the claim that the resulting good is better than the result God could have obtained without permitting the evil to occur in the first place. But this doesn't answer my question...the question of why?

Why does God chose to permit the evil in question, when He could have brought about an even better situation by preventing it altogether?

So, here's where I'm at. I'm not an adherer to the meticulous Providence perspective. If God maintains a strong doctrine of meticulous Providence and the "non-gratuitousness" of evil, it must be accepted that God intends the evil along with the good, whereas without this strong claim I have nothing helpful to say about God's reasons for permitting evil.

God does not orchestrate evil. It is against His very nature to work hand-in-hand with evil. Evil cannot and will never be touched by God. Evil happens. Adverse events transpire in our lives--nothing we can do about it. But, God allows it. He allows us to endure evil and tough times to be molded--to be molded into his tools for the Kingdom of God.

Evil happens, but God is victorious. Amen?

Where Do I Begin?

As my title presupposes (and I can hear Ricky Ricardo yelling, I got some 'splainin' to do!), I am finally beginning again to reveal the intimate and privy gossip of my life to the cyber void...ok, I'm not getting that personal, but I will enlighten you a bit to the happenings of the past several months, especially the past week.

1. I'm engaged. I realized that Stacey Lynn Powell is my lifemate several months ago (long before, mind you, that she realized this...but that's another blog--or perhaps not). She is everything I have prayed for and hoped for...and more. She is the proverbial perfect woman-she's honest, trustworthy, intelligent, extremely beautiful, and recognizes the extreme importance of real love. She also appreciates the things that I appreciate--such as hobbies and movies, and most importantly, a Christ-centered relationship. I hate cliches, but...she's my everything. When I realized that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I wanted the rest of my life to start as soon as possible. So, I bought a ring. And not just a ring--this ring has a story and every story has a memory.

In April, Stacey and I were walking through the mall, randomly looking at rings--not in a serious, resolute way, but in a more, "So what do you like?" kind of way. We found rings of all sizes and prices, clarities and shapes. But there was one that really stood out to her--one that almost caught her offguard. It was on sale. It was 1.12 carats. And it was staring directly at Stacey through the brightly-lit fluourescent exhibits. When she put it on, she said, "It's beautiful...but it's way out of our price range." However, that ring stayed on her finger for quite awhile...she was intoxicated by its appeal. It had an almost Gollum-like attraction. Anyways, we finally left the Zales associates and went home. Little did she know, I told the associate to hold the ring and I went back several days later to purchase it. Then, from April til now, I've had to file it away--not only in my drawers and gloveboxes, but more importanly, in my mind. Never had I kept such a profound and consuming secret in my life.

But, as you may know by now, I proposed to Stacey in Chicago on Saturday night with that very ring. And what follows is the story of that night...

The premise of this night focused on three basic instructions that I gave to her in three envelopes. The first envelope read, "Buy a Dress" and had enclosed in it $120. Now, you must understand that Stacey would not simply go out and buy a dress for the sake of it...she must be forced, which is why I gave her the condition that she had to spend ALL of the money. So, we headed straight for Michigan Avenue, towards WaterTower Place-more specifically, White House Black Market. The dress she picked out (mind you, it was a little over budget, but that's just fine with me) looked absolutely stunning, which you can see for yourself to the left.

Then, after this, we headed outside the mall to catch a ride--a carriage ride. I had pre-booked our ride, which garnered us quick access through the others wanting rides. We took a beautiful, romantic ride around the old district of Chicago. Our great tour guide led a beautiful white steed down the streets of the Windy City, while passers-by waved at the dressed up couple riding in the exemplar carriage. This was a lot of fun for her-she loved each moment of it.

Next, she opened her next envelope, which read, Dinner with a View: Signature Room @ the 95th. We headed towards the John Hancock building, dressed to the hilt, ready for the 1500ft elevator climb. Once we reached the top, we were shocked to see the view. I'd seen it before, but it still took my breath away. I attached a picture of our view, as well. The dinner was wonderful. She ordered the gnocci and I the duck breast. Both were delicious. As we smiled and laughed together at the view and the night, I noticed that the young man next to us revealed a ring to his girlfriend, asking for her betrothment. Some foreshadowing, I think...?

After dinner, she was begging for me to allow her to open the final envelope. I simply said, "Soon." We drove around a bit--my end goal being Grant Park's beautiful Buckingham Fountain, which at night is simply stunning. However, thanks to the Taste of Chicago, we were not permitted anywhere near it. So, becoming a little discontented and stymied, I headed towards Chicago's next best oasis-Millennium Park. I thought that there would be no better place to start our life together than at the Cloud Gate--the 110ft elliptical steel. It was slightly raining, so it had to be quick! Therefore, we found a seat and allowed her to open the third envelope. Enclosed, it read, Start the Journey Together... This was about the time that I revealed to the infamous 1.12 carat ring, telling her simply that I loved her very much, and that I would truly love her forever. As I knelt down on one knee, she put her hands over her mouth, tears rolling forward, and I asked, "Stacey, will you marry me?" Guess what folks. She said yes!

I put on some pictures of the ring. Hope you find it as beautiful as we do.

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This ends part one of two. If you're wondering why I'm able to deliver this blog from the comfort of my home and not from the African bush, I'll fill you in. Talk to you then.


-BJY